My Third Surgery

I am recovering from my third surgery, an Open Appendectomy.

Early ER consultation, thank God I was assisted all at once, from blood, urine, sugar, bp, ctscan, these all tests, and admitted for surgery, no one knows that before I go to hospital, I finished all I need to do. My child in a therapy school, my girl who needs my tlc, my work done hustle schedules, before I help myself.

My faith that push me through and it was fast just happened.

I was consulting also the Lord, test results came that I had high blood infections, my repentance and feeling sorry for my family.

I also hating myself, while I was admitted. I was desperate to know what I did, that made me sick, whatever happens, I will trust you Lord. I never heard from the Lord that he is angry at me, or judging me.

Surgery is not scary for me, it's just painful recovery, that needed pain killers, and antibiotics. I thank God for making me well.

After surgery, so much pain, God said to me clearly this verse just came up and my tears like healing the pain that filled my spirit. While I can't stand by myself, the conversation we had, he said while I'm sitting,

"Greater love has has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." I reread the whole chapter of John 15 and Jesus knows exactly how I feel. Such comforting how Jesus cares.

Lord, is this you want me to know? You know exactly how I feel.

Trying to sit, standing, walking slowly cause I need to help myself, while my husband is not around to help me. I am just really tired from surgery and after many blood tests again. Grateful I have a husband who cares and for taking care of my kids, missing them in hospital.

While trying to stand painful, holding on, this came up again he said, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:10) In tears, it strengths me Lord.

Doctor diagnosed me: Acute Ruptured Appendicitis

I had funny moments during surgery, I fake sleep 😆, and I heard my surgeon inspecting my ovaries?! What about my ovaries?? They tried to made me sleep again, I got light bruises in my arm shoulder maybe they pinch me hard 😂for anesthesia I did not tell them everything that I heard also the loud R&B music while operation. 🖤 fine for me.

I can't stay in that bed 😢

I take this photo while waiting in the Lord, also I had side effect of epidural at my back no photos got some burns, even I don't have any allergies. These are all temporary.

Here, just bruises from needles, after, my both hands got swollen, but that's just fine.

I had new 6 inches stiches in my right, my stitches are proof of God's strength. Many stitches 🖤

Grateful for prayerful friends praying with me.

This is why I won't stop praying for a cancer cure, for sickness, many enduring pains. There's much more people that needs prayer and strength.

Jesus cares so much for us.

All glory to God.

Failures in God's Grace

Romans 8:38-39, And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Writing this made me tearful as I type about failures. Time is running and we can't turn back, we can't stay on the past, I choose to follow Jesus beside failures and regrets, he's more than my failures as a sister, as a daughter, wife or as a friend.

I had so much time to do God's will and I'm grateful and making sure as I can.😊

I had this continually prayer, that one day, in God's perfect time like he did when I got graduate in college, I had career, I got married, I got pregnant, I had my first baby, as I wait and serve, I know the Lord had the plan, prepared, in the right time. I might not see, but I know my God, He's perfect!

I also want with my family, to be one in Christ though, they have their own ways, their beliefs, religion which I don't want to be centered in our lives. I want Jesus Christ be the center on whatever we have. I know the Lord hears me, he never abandons.

In our failures, there's God's grace.